Sometimes, I don’t really feel like being politically correct. This is one of those times. I got the following “plan” in an e-mail from a friend. The e-mail attributed the plan to Robin Williams. However, I was able to discover from snopes.com that only the 11th item can be attributed to him. The rest appear to have come from an old listing on a Harley forum in 2003. Anyhow, although it may not fully describe my sentiments with 100% accuracy, it’s close enough. I have a feeling that a lot of other Americans agree with it, too.
The Great Plan
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of one plan for peace. “Books, not Bombs” won’t work. The head mullahs won’t let anyone read them. If they do, they poke their eyes out.
Here’s the plan:
1. The US will apologize to the world for our “interference” in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini and the rest of them ‘good old boys’. We will never “interfere” again.
2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don’t want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in the fence.
3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.
4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself, don’t hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don’t need any more cab drivers.
5. No “students” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don’t attend classes, they get a “D” and it’s back home baby.
6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient, energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go someplace else.
8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not “interfere”. They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if any, anyway.
9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us “Ugly Americans” any longer.
11. And lastly, “The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying ‘Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and she’s yelling, ‘You want a piece of me?'”
Now, ain’t that a winner of a plan??
