The Blog Less Traveled

If you don’t know what OS X is, just skip this post.

I happened upon a ZDNET blog today that was discussing the next version of Windows (click here). In typical fashion, there were the sophomoric flames in the comments section. Instead of using reasoned arguments to make their case, they eventually degrade to my operating system is better than yours and yours just sucks. However, there was one comment, in the form of an analogy, that I thought was hilarious and worth repeating. The commenter’s blog name was “Nonzealot”, and here’s what he/she said:

OS X girl thinks she is hot because she’s just had her metal braces replaced with clear ones. She hangs around all the popular girls all day and wants to be just like them although if you were to ask any of the popular girls what they thought of OS X girl, they wouldn’t know who you were talking about. OS X girl knows this and when she gets home at night, writes Facebook posts about how much she hates all the popular girls and wishes they would die. The next morning, she will go into the principal’s office and make up a story about how one of the popular girls stole her purse. At lunch though, she will be sitting at the table next to the popular girls laughing at all their stupid jokes.
OS X girl gets either really high marks on her assignments if her parents did it for her, or really bad marks if her parents were busy and she had to do it herself.
OS X girl prides herself on never having gotten an STD unlike some of the popular girls although this is mostly because none of the boys want anything to do with her. She did convince one of the chess club members to make out with her after school one day and immediately got mono although she tells herself that mono doesn’t really count as a disease because it doesn’t affect your genitals.
She drives an Acura CSX and sticks her nose up at all those tacky Civic drivers, ignoring the fact that she basically paid Honda $10,000 to put an Acura logo on her Civic.
Windows girl, however, doesn’t exist because they are all so different. There are the promiscuous Windows girls who get the disease of the week from the jock of the week but most Windows girls are either waiting for marriage or practice safe sex and are always perfectly healthy.
Some Windows girls drive muscle cars because they like to go fast, some drive their daddy’s BMW, some drive a used Civic, it really depends on their circumstances although all of them make it to school on time.
When working in groups, they tend to get top marks although they are more than willing to take ideas from the girls in the debate club when it will get them even higher marks. All of this will help them get into the top universities and have really successful careers, if that is what they decide to do. They’ll probably be really polite to OS X girl as she is cleaning their house although they probably still won’t know her name.

BTW, I own and use both Windows and Apple computers. In fact, I’m using an Apple computer to type this, but I still appreciate good humor.